MY DAILY AGENDA AND ROUTINES... or how to challenge my self,for change 13/02/2018 will update it every week
This is me.Short story.After accident in work i am where i am now.I didnt suffer life threatening injury,but door from shelf unit fell on my left hand and damaged nerve in my thumb.I think everyone once suffered dental pain,when you can climb walls from pain grrrr,yes i have same pains but it is in my thumb and its sometimes affects all my left arm and goes down to my left knee and foot.I have lost grip in my left hand.Pains can be so strong that its making me physically sick,like getting migraine or vomiting. So during this 2.6 years ,i am out of work,i lost all people whom i was seeing on daily bases ,in work.Also we was meeting up after work.I wouldn't call them friends ,because as soon i was out off work, they didnt give a damn about me anymore.Family ,yes family? I think personally they are pissed off of me also ,because of change, from bubbly outgoing,challenging and hard working mum and wife i turned in to blob.I hated my self because i lost all of my hobbies like piano,guitar,restoring antique furniture,gardening and cooking.So daily life and agendas like dressing up,washing my self was challenge .Because i am ambidexter ,my right arm wasnt strong enough to do stuff.So i got my neck muscles locked up and couldn't get out of bed for 2 weeks.Then went for some deep tissue therapy few times ,got lots of pills and its got better.Trying to use my right hand sensibly now,but damage is done,so any wrong twist or movement ,and i get muscles locked again.Same is with my stomach muscles,i am getting cramps and pain each time i am lifting something.Pain killers and tablets for inflammation damaged my stomach so now i suffer from stomach pains and all other stuff related .So all my life went down to drain in 1 minute,when that flippin door fall on my hand.I am suffering from depression and anxiety ,i cant drive any more ,because of my hand and also of anxiety.I am losing concentration on what i am doing.My eye sight is bad.My teeth is breaking like matches.I dont like nothing.I am sleeping and eating and shitting...that is me right?In the process i lost any interest in anything or anyone ,what is going on around me,or whats involves me.My life is in bits.Also daily remainder when you visiting surgeon,Gp, therapists,solicitors any other people related to this ,doesn't help.Because every doctor you visit makes pain go worse for weeks,because everyone of them moves my hand and fingers and arm.So after every inspection i am in pain again for weeks.2.6 years of constant reminder.I wonder how do people can heal if they bring the past up all the time.Also social welfare have a go at people like me.I needed to go for assessment with the social welfare medical adviser. I had visit with her on 3 dh of January,now it is 10 of February...and pain still there after her examination.And then she sends letter to Social welfare, that i am fit for work. Ok i am happy for that, if she says that i am fit for work..but what job i could possibly do,in my previous work,what is shop assistant..even at checkout you need both hands.And then i got letter from Occupational therapist that i cant work and she thinks that i will never work. items to wear for the grade of 5th graduation purpose
In August last year i was looking up things ,what could i do without using my left hand ...as physical work ,hmmm didn't look promising.
So i joined lots of groups online to see if i can find something what interests me.For many years i was educating myself in spirituality and Crystals.Loved all metaphysical stuff since i was kid.I have been sensitive ,seeing and hearing stuff since i was young girl.So did some courses and learned some stuff from Granny's and my Mom.
Then last august i finaly found courses online,what suited all my interests. Academy of Angel beach ,by Rachel Gibson.I joined to they group which is large around 7000 members.So there wasnt really that contact i wanted,or the feeling i was looking for.I felt lonely. Then Rachel started to teach courses online,any knowledge she had ,she passed to students.So i got my first course booked with her in September and i still student there ,i still taking new courses. I made lots of friends there,because chat is open 24/7 ,there is always someone who will listen to you and give you hug or cheerup.
You would ask ,so what ?What you on about?
1 ...i have finished 6 courses in Rachels Academy ,still have 2 to go. I have certificates that i am qualified in specific areas.I start to return to thinking that i am not a blob,that i am a human being ,who needs some help to get over bad patch.I realize that if i wont love myself,nobody will.So desicions just poping up from nowhere.Also my Spirit guides and Angels working hard and kicking my backside,to push me.
2...Instead of eating my self up ,i gave up smoking.After 30 years of this habbit i am smoke free for 5 months now.I gained lots of weight,because of my condition.So now i am working on it/quited white suggar,and sweets,and all my yummy chocolate cookies / have only 7 Rich tea bisquits with my tea daily.Its just the oportunity what is given to me ,is helping me to get my self back to life again.I still strugle and very baddly with sleeping.I practically dont sleep..and my night is more like my day ,so world is turned upside down.
4...I study online and learn from books every day,i comunicate with people,i dont feel so lonely anymore.I am building my own website and group,so i can help people.
And this is small introduction to my 2,6 year struggle and wake up call ..
SO NOW TO POINT...
I will be sharing information on my succseses and failures in my group.
I am writing my first agenda for week.Or daily ritual of wake up,so it be.
1. Alarm on for 8 30 am ,wake up exercises./cat streches/
3.Meditation for 10 min then light breakfast and cooffee of course.
4.Daily tasks,studys,introductions to new hobies.
5.House work and exercise.
12.And time for hot tub,and then bed...hope its around 12 am
Meditation in bed /reflexology/